Monday, April 25, 2011

Squirrel Stuff I Own: Tiny Office Squirrels

As I alluded to in my previous post post, I do, in fact, have a real job that requires me to wear pants, sit up straight, and not be drunk. I also brush my hair most days.

Normally having to wear real pants would be a big downer for me, but luckily I've got some great coworkers at my job and they work hard to encourage me. ("Wow, pants two days in a row, Casey? You are doing awesome! Keep it up!")

They also tend to buy squirrel stuff for me now, which is really great. In fact just last week my coworker G left these little guys on my desk.

It was funny, though, because she waited for me to leave for a few moments, gleefully placed them on my keyboard, and then waited in her office for my reaction, which I think was pretty perfect.

"GUYS, THERE ARE TINY SQUIRRELS ON MY DESK. Guys! GUYS! Does anyone else see this? Oh no, am I hallucinating again? Seriously, does anyone else see these tiny squirrels?!"

And that's not an exaggeration; I actually said those things.

Anyway, I quickly discovered that the squirrels were more than just tiny desk decorations of love. They could be my little helpers as well!

They help me load paper into the printer when we run out.

They help me with my database updates and gift entry tasks.

They answer the phone when people dial the wrong number and then insist that they dialed the correct number even though I know there is nobody named Candylicious who works here.

And most importantly, they help all of us with the filing.

Most people with regular jobs have to leave their crazy at home, but I'm lucky I get to bring my crazy with me to work. And when my coworkers walk in on me at 8:55 AM taking pictures of a squirrel in the filing cabinet, it doesn't even occur to them to look for psychiatrists in the area who take our insurance. No, they have other more pressing concerns on their minds.

"Wow, it's Friday and you're still wearing pants, Casey! This is a banner week for you!"

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Wait, what kind of royal wedding?

Sometimes I forget that I have a blog. I'll post twice in a week and then completely forget about the poor thing. I won't even check in on because I'm too busy looking at squirrel taxidermy options on eBay and sending ridiculous Easter ecards to my friends around the nation.

It's like I have a regular job or life or something. Probably the first one.

But it's days like this when I gleefully recall that I do have a blog and this blog potentially has readers and those readers want to know about a fantastic half birthday gift that I received the other day. (And yes, for those of you keeping score, it's still a little early for my half birthday, but my friend M is so efficient that he traveled back in time from my half birthday in order to give this to me. Thanks, M!)

Yeah, that's right, bitches, I'm going to knit myself a royal wedding, complete with Camilla, vicar, and a herd of corgis. No, there is nothing weird about this, why do you ask? Which knitter among us isn't knitting a herd of corgis in preparation for this special occasion?

Now if you'll excuse me the Queen's hair is giving me some trouble, and it looks like B is trying to research divorce lawyers again, silly husband. Corgis, attack!!!